Choice. 6 letters. One syllable. One grossly over simplified word. And yet, it may very well be the most powerful word in any language. Even as I sit here, inspired to grasp and understand a bit of that power, I back down. Intimidated by the shear simplicy of my absolute control over everything in my life. Everything. We are so quick to relinquish control under the guise of circumstance. When in truth, there is always something we can control in every single circumstance. We choose how we react. We choose to love or hate. We choose to stay down, bloodied and broken. We choose to ask for help. We choose faith or hopelessness. We choose to pull out the first aid kit and pull ourselves up, crying as we go. We choose how that fight with a family member affects us. We choose the comfortable friend over the one who holds up that annoying proverbial mirror. We choose the conference over a weekend in the mountains.
We choose. Every day, every situation, every moment. We are making a choice. WE are controlling the outcome. We are ALWAYS steering the course.
Sometimes as we go through this life, it is almost impossible to see that truth. Especially in the wake of the last year. Our world has changed so much. Our norm is just not recognizable to a year ago. We are physically distant from each other, nervous about gathering together. Uncertainty of health and well being on a basic level has been more prevalent than I can remember in my lifetime. So much seems unknown, out of reach, and certainly out of control.
Or is it?
I know in my life, I am always caught off guard by how much one positive decision can manifest. One decision to stay in town instead of going out of town with friends, changed my entire perspective for what I can do with the rest of my life. One moment's decision to really look at the pain and despair I have grappled with since the kids moved out and I lost mom, led me to a profound yearning to build something that could help alleviate that pain for someone else. The moment I chose to share these crazy ambitions with someone who I barely knew, led to a friendship and partner in making those "crazy ambitions" come to life. Answering a divinely timed phone call that was technically interrupting something has led to several hours every other week that edify and support me more than most any other activity in my life. Choosing to do the hard things every day in a profession that has been brutal the past 16 months, will - if I don't quit! - lead to the financial stability needed to build a life changing opportunity for other single Moms. I could go on and on. Right down to choosing to defrost the shrimp this morning to round out the perfect pantry raid. (I really should have taken a picture of my meal tonight. Yum.)
The scary thing about choice is that it is ridiculously simple, while admittedly not always easy. Often when we are looking at a decision, we are looking months, days, hours, or even minutes down the road. We are worrying about and questioning our ability to sustain a decision or make the right choice on step 14 of the path we choose. When the fact is... question #2, circumstance, #5, road block #4... DO NOT EXIST. They are figments of our imagination. The split second that you pick a side, answer the question, choose something different, spark a new idea, change direction... that second is the only thing that truly exists. Everything else is speculation.
All of our speculation causes so much undo stress, inaction, loitering around a crossroads, and wasting precious time waiting on circumstances to change change. All the while we are just one thought, one belief, one step... one mindset shift away from neutralizing circumstance and reclaiming the power to choose the path and write the story we want to share with those around us.
Wait for it. I am about to “oversimplify” again:
Look clearly at the landscape. Be honest about your intention. Weigh options against your values.
Then… Just… Choose. Learn and Repeat.
Choice, always ours, and always just 6 letters and one syllable away.
This blog is a personal collection of my thoughts, wins, losses, memories, and crossroad moments. Almost all of which were hashed out around my kitchen counter and in my journals. If any of it resonates with you and you are ready to free-up the hidden badass you ARE right now, I can help. It’s time… Click the link and Let’s chat.