"Wah wah Waaah wah waah wah..." That is all I hear as I sit here watching the timer tick down the seconds of the 25 minutes allotted in the writing session with Heather. (Timer is now face down!) Seriously, I run my mouth all day long, but sitting in front of this screen, the voice in my head is suddenly Charlie Brown's freaking teacher. I was reading this morning that a writer is always a writer whether they are writing or not. I am not feeling much like one today! However, I guess that is part of the practice of this little group coming together every other week, setting the timer, and letting our fingers do the talking.
Part of the issue is, if I am being honest, what's on my mind is not really something I want to put in writing. Nevertheless, I suppose I don't actually get to choose. It's either spit it out or listen to the muffled "Wah Wahs" in stereo for the rest of the 22 minutes left on the clock.
So, here goes it...
I am standing at a crossroad. I have almost all the pieces in place to launch a business that will bring me joy, make me feel fulfilled, useful, and bring additional financial stability. Yet, I am standing still just looking at the potential ahead and feeling a bit like it is a mirage. Can I really have what I see? Do I really want to put myself out there?? Do I have what it takes? I know exactly what is going on. I have read enough books and listened to enough podcasts to want to strangle the next person that says the word "imposter syndrome." Alas, there is one voice that I am hearing above all the static and it's Gay Hendricks asking me to check my Upper Limit.
If you haven't read his book, "The Big Leap," stop reading this right now and go get it. The way he speaks on how we put our own limitations (or someone else’s) on what we can do is nothing short of life altering. Upper Limits... the perceived circumstances or belief structures that make us question our ability or our right to take that next step, much less a leap hell-and-gone out of our comfort zone.
I fell in love with the term Upper Limit as I read his book. We always talk about breaking down boundaries, scaling mountains, jumping hurdles, and the piece de résistance... Breaking glass ceilings. I get the sentiment. Really, I do. I have said every one of them a hundred times. Seriously though, let's get real, don't they sound hard?? I am in no shape to physically break walls, climb steep inclines...and when I think about breaking glass, all I see is a painful bloody mess! Simply seeking it out and acknowledging that the limitation that stops me moving forward is in fact non-existent, seems a far less resistant path.
Not to be flippant or over simplify, but not only is the limit not real, I am the one that created the illusion. My thoughts, my fear, my imagination. As I absorbed Gay's teaching and spent hours of coaching with Denise on the power of harnessing our thoughts, it struck me so deeply that if I was creating or allowing the limitation, I could un-create it and/or revoke its privileges. I could imagine something different. I could think something different. I could believe something different. So, I tried it, and low and behold, it worked. I took the next step, and there was no sound of a jackhammer, no back sweat, and definitely no blood. I simply changed one thought and took one step. And I keep doing that every day. Sometimes it is a slow process and some days are grossly more successfully than others. Without doubt, on plenty of days like today, it takes hours (or weeks!?) of that muffled "wah wahing" before I realize I am stuck in a false perception of my own making.
I think that today, it is time to take control from the blurred, barely visible, most recent Upper Limit I have uncovered and create a mental broken record out of the following:
I am on the right path.
I am doing the work required in order to show up well.
I am in no danger for crying out loud!
Urgency does not equal being in a rush.
Perfection is Public Enemy #1.
I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now.
(Honestly... I am on kind of a roll here, so I will just stop. I think you catch my drift.)
In short, I will shift my focus to Denise's ever so colorful answer to my initital question in this morning's weekly coaching session:
Me, concerning my next step:
"How do I know it's legit?"
Her answer and I quote,
"It's legit because you are Beth Fucking Williams."
Limit, you have had your 25 minutes of fame for the day. So, be gone!
... Because I am Beth Freakin' Williams, and I said so.
This blog is a personal collection of my thoughts, wins, losses, memories, and crossroad moments. Almost all of which were hashed out around my kitchen counter and in my journals. If any of it resonates with you and you are ready to free-up the hidden badass you ARE right now, I can help. It’s time… Click the link and Let’s chat.
