Even as a board-certified "Words of Affirmation" girl, I am still awed by the power in small changes to the language we use. A profound word switch for me occurred as I reduced 45 years of life into a 32 ft boat and small storage unit in 2015. (Lord… definitely a story for another time!) This tedious and painstaking process taught me that while I was SIGNIFICANTLY reducing my belongings, I wasn’t downsizing at all. I was expanding. The process of creating space made room to realize dreams, build healthier relationships, and breathe life into my purpose.
I was Up-Sizing.
This time of year brings with it a desire to clean, simplify, and declutter. Each year since 2015, I always pause a moment and check in on what I hope to up-size and ensure the language is aligned with that intention.
Consider the statements below:
I am decluttering my home.
I am streamlining my work processes.
I am tightening my budget.
All fantastic things to be working on, however, how do these statements land in comparison?
I am filling my home with calm and ease.
I am increasing the speed at which I succeed.
I am growing the margin of freedom in my finances.
Which set of statements tweaks your excitement or boosts your energy level? How does your body respond? Can you feel a difference in your physical response to each? How about the spark of creativity? How does that spark differ between the lists? And my favorite question...which sounds easier to do? The list that focuses on what you are letting go, or the list that speaks to what you are gaining?
Downsizing, minimizing, removing, and distancing, all imply that there is something WRONG or too much about who we are, where we live, or how we work.
Let me be the one to tell you...
***There is nothing wrong with you. You do not need to be fixed. Choosing to grow faster, give more, stress less, and love deeper does not have to root in lack or brokenness. You can choose to root them in love - true ownership and love of Self. The Self that has been with you all along. The Self that looked at you from the mirror when you were 5, was there this morning, and is waiting for you in a mirror 20 years from now. She is an intricate mosaic of her past. She is ALL of her emotions. A force of intuition, fragility, and strength. She is perfectly and magnificently flawed - making her the only one of her kind. The only one that can accomplish what is hers and reach those her life is meant to touch. And she is exactly who and where she needs to be to make it happen.***
Making choices and creating change from a place of love, deepens our understanding of Self and urges us to care for her health, propel her dreams, cultivate peace, and bring her joy in the best ways we know. In turn, these acts of true self-acceptance and care will naturally generate a curiosity to learn and know more.
My challenge to you is 2-fold.
1. Review your professional and personal development lists and sharpen the wording. How can you edit so that each intention predicts what will be added or expanded in your life? Refer to them when “how” overshadows “why” and motivation wanes.
2. When you see her in the mirror next, see the whole of her, and tell her you love her without condition. Ask her what gift you can give her, not just what you are going to take away. Remind her she is incredible, just as she is.
I have shared most of these last few paragraphs in the 2nd or 3rd person. (I am certain Ms. Roby from my senior year would prefer I pick a side and stay there!) I chose to communicate this way because unconditional love is often best comprehended when it is being given to someone else. Alas! I don't want to leave my point too thinly veiled so I am going to ask for a few more minutes of your time.
Go back to the paragraphs between the stars and re-read, using I, Me, and My in place of the other pronouns. Read it slowly. Soak it in. Allow yourself to feel the warm embrace of acceptance. Commit to growing your belief in your infinite and ever-present badass enoughness. Then… from that place of fierce Chaka Khan energy, commence to up-sizing the hell out of your life.
This article was published in the Spring edition of Focus On Fabulous magazine.
"Celebrating the strengths, stories & successes of everyday women living extraordinary lives."
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This blog is a personal collection of my thoughts, wins, losses, memories, and crossroad moments. Almost all of which were hashed out around my kitchen counter and in my journals. If any of it resonates with you and you are ready to free up the hidden badass you ARE right now, I can help. It’s time… Click the link and Let’s chat.