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I am always amazed at the power in small words. At first glance, their 2-4 letter lengths

seem to portray a certain insignificance. As if you can skim right over them and barely miss a beat. In reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

  • "But" creates a formidable turn in any conversation.

  • "How" breeds either brutal doubt or inspired creativity.

  • "If" brings a feeling of dependence on something we may not be able to control.

  • "Then" accentuates a longing for something that we have not quite achieved.

  • "No" are 2 letters whose power to grow or destroy the user has no bounds.

  • "So” The ultimate dismissal.

  • "Yes" births commitment ...or unwanted obligation if used too lightly.

  • "Are/Is" pronounce something as fact - whether it is or not.

Need I go on?

The word on my mind the last few weeks? "And."

"And" suggests agreement, unity, collaboration, acceptance. Often “and” seems to stay locked in the realm of language or tangible circumstances. It can be raining and the sun still shining in July. A dish can be cooked perfectly on the outside and still undercooked in the middle. Movies can be truly entertaining and yet still be too long or too short.

It begs the question, "Why (another pesky little word) do we dismiss the validity of "and" with ourselves? Often, we balance our self-worth and acceptance on "or," eliminating any room for “and.” One is either a great homemaker or takes no pride in their home. Have picture perfect children or failed as a parent somewhere along the way. Physical health is perfectly prioritized, or we just don't care or want it bad enough. The rigid either/or bar we use to measure whether we are or have been enough, is incredibly destructive with damage that can span generations. Yet most of us continue carrying around the bullshit baggage that is the result of buying into this impossible measure of worthiness.

For me, it was time to expand my vocabulary... by 3 letters.

Here is the challenge I have made myself the last few weeks and it is changing... well... everything. I have dared myself to offer "and" a permanent seat at the table.

AND I double-dog dare you to do the same.

  • I can be actively growing and still be in pain or denial.

  • I can love myself just as I am and choose a new habit that will foster better health.

  • I can be successful and have bad or non-productive days.

  • I can be serious about my emotional and mental health and have fun...often.

  • I can be chasing a dream and be fully content.

  • I can be broken and healing and feel joy.

  • I can be doubtful and confident as I am led into new territory.

  • I can have a power morning routine and dig through week old clean laundry because overwhelm won a round.

I can be grossly imperfect and a freaking badass.

... and so can you.


This article was published in the Fall edition of Focus On Fabulous magazine.

"Celebrating the strengths, stories & successes of everyday women living extraordinary lives."

Each of the 4 seasonal editions is packed with inspiration, practical tips, and fabulous support. Please check out the site, and subscribe!


This blog is a personal collection of my thoughts, wins, losses, memories, and crossroad moments. Almost all of which were hashed out around my kitchen counter and in my journals. If any of it resonates with you and you are ready to free-up the hidden badass you ARE right now, I can help. It’s time… Click the link and Let’s chat.


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