You didn't anticipate how lonely it would be after the kids moved out. You have loved every moment of raising and caring for them, even the hard stuff. You misjudged how empty everything would feel when your days were not filled with meeting their needs and keeping them safe.
I get it... because I was there.
Six years ago, my house got deafeningly quiet. If I am being truthful, some nights it still is. I am a single, empty nest mom of three adult children. The transition of all of them moving out took over six years, so I was completely caught off guard how unprepared I was for the lonely feeling of loss that quiet would bring. My twins were born six years before my daughter and they were chomping at the bit to move out at 18. Ok... well, there's a bit more to that story. They were chomping at the bit to set their own rules. So we "mutually decided" it was time they do just that. But I digress. A story for another time.
I had six years to plan what I wanted to do next. I picked the bucket list dream of living on a boat and spent the last years Jess was home making it into a reality. I had a job I loved, was living on a boat, and was used to having Jess only 50% of the time when she moved away to college. I was ready. Besides, I had already mourned the bulk of my kids leaving. It was just me and the boys for so long. All of my adult life, they had been right with me and being without the comfort of their constant presence was devastating. I thought for sure I was through the worst part. I had no idea how clueless this line of thinking would prove!
So, I did what I do when I don't understand something. CONSUME! I read books, googled, sought out seminars, conferences, webinars, workbooks, literally anything I could get my hands and mind on. All of this to help me figure out who I was outside of Mom and how I wanted to fill the next chapter. Simon Sinek, Brene Brown, John Maxwell, Sean Covey, Trent Shelton, Shauna VanBogart, a steady stream of TedEx videos, Rachel Hollis, Jen Cincero, Brendon Bruchard, Gay Hendricks, Mark Buchanan, Denise Verineri, Laura Wallace... the list goes on and on. Stream of thought downloads, vision boards, goal setting, time management, habit changing, journaling, meditation, morning routines, night routines, ever changing physical health routines, post-it notes on the mirrors, reminders popping up on my phone, etc. etc. etc.
Anything that encouraged me to let go, forgive myself, believe in the core of who I am, learn new habits, restore my faith in myself and my God, and break apart imagined limitations. Most importantly, I was learning how to cultivate and choose to feel joy, every day. I learned that seeking out and following joy is more important than the ever sought after passion. Passion brings mission and fulfillment but without joy, passion is elusive and quickly depleted of its energy.
I have taken all of those years of searching and the life changing tools I fashioned along the way to create a process for myself and to help other single, empty nesters fill their Next.
Here is what my "Why" for this journey boils down to.
I simply do not believe that any mother should feel they are alone after
spending previous decades dedicated to the selfless love and care of their little humans.
If you are where I was...lonelier than you thought you would be, searching for exactly who you are, questioning the choices you've made (or not made!) for YOU over the years... I'd love to help.
Schedule a free consultation and let's chat.
PS. I know, I know. I put Billy Idol in your head and just left it hanging out there. Here you go, girls... dance away.
"...there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove. " ;-)
This blog is a personal collection of my thoughts, wins, losses, memories, and crossroad moments. Almost all of which were hashed out around my kitchen counter and in my journals. If any of it resonates with you and you are ready to free-up the hidden badass you ARE right now, I can help. It’s time… Click the link and Let’s chat.