2020 was quite the experience for literally everyone on the planet, in one way or another. I was certainly no exception. My year was riddled with change in just about every area of my life. From how I spend my favorite time of day (Happy Hour) to what I do for a living... everything had some kind of major "pivot." (Oh, how I am growing to hate that word. Can I get an "Amen"??) One morning last summer, I was in a fight with 2020, so I was goal setting for 2021. Reflecting on how much had changed the last 8 years, I started 2 lists. On the left, a list of how I thought of myself after my Mom died in 2011. On the right, how I think, feel, and operate today. When I paired the negative with their current corresponding positive, it was clear the majority of my internal struggles had been rooted in the belief that my choices and past experiences were not good enough, wrong, and/or proof that I was not enough.
If I could visit my 23 year old self - young single, exhausted, self-sabotaging mother of 3, certain she is broken and destined for a life of perpetual consequence, I would tell her the following:
I see you for the badass you ARE... not going to be.
You hereby have permission to trash perfection as the standard.
Give yourself space to express the beautifully vulnerable 'YOU' hidden just under the surface.
PUT DOWN THE FREAKING BAGGAGE! Travel light, be playful, and be intentionally selfish.
Deliberately find and choose joy... every day.
(To steal a line from Glennon Doyle, Untamed) As she paces the perimeter of her perceived captivity, I would convince her she is not only enough, or worthy, or capable... "She's a g--damn cheetah!" And she is free.
Considering I do not own a pimped out DeLorean or physics defying phone booth to make that trip back in time, I decided to share my story here. I am not sure exactly what will unfold as I take this crazy 2021 leap. But my hope is that I may offer other fierce women a little company on their journey, shorten the healing process, and help them re-claim their freedom along the way.
This blog is a personal collection of my thoughts, wins, losses, memories, and crossroad moments. Almost all of which were hashed out around my kitchen counter and in my journals. If any of it resonates with you and you are ready to free-up the hidden badass you ARE right now, I can help. It’s time… Click the link and Let’s chat.